CUSTOMER SERVICE NIGHTMARE

Everything I write is absolutely true. I do not have to make up anything. Life’s material is so absurd that these blogs practically write themselves.

So it was one recent Saturday afternoon. I have more than 1000 pictures on my cell phone. At least half of them needed to be transferred to my laptop, which is where I do the writing for this website. I need to be able to access a picture from a folder on my laptop and insert it into the text that I am writing.

This used to be a simple process. I would plug the cell phone into the computer. A notice would come up on the computer screen that said: “New device Found”. I would click on that notice, click another button to transfer the pictures, and that was the end of that. Done. Pictures transferred.

Why, why, why, do software designers have an overwhelming urge to “fix what ain’t broken”? To keep their jobs, of course. If they did not constantly change their software designs, what would they do for work? 6 figure jobs are difficult to come by. No one is going to willingly put themselves out of work. Thus, in an effort to keep their jobs, they drive me to insanity.

Months ago, before I started the new website, I tried to transfer my pictures. I plugged the cable that came with my cell phone into my phone,  then into my computer, patiently waiting for the “new device” notice to appear. My patience was rewarded with a notice that directed me to the App Store and told me which App to download. Why do I need to download an App? Everything worked fine before with a simple notice and click. Never mind. I dutifully downloaded the App.

I followed every direction exactly. I clicked this; clicked that; downloaded that. When finished, there was an icon at the top of my phone that said “Your Phone Company….connected to your PC”. When I clicked on the photo section on the laptop, a notice appeared with a giant X next to it. It said …………no connected device found. After a few weeks of trying to make the X disappear, I gave up.

However, with the launch of the new website, it became imperative that I transfer those pictures. Therefore, this afternoon I called Samsung… (I am one of the minority who has a Samsung Android, not an iPhone ) on my landline phone so we could manipulate my cell phone and my computer.

It begins. A recording gave me the options of logging onto their website and writing the questions concerning my problem; chatting online with a “bot” about my issues, or sending an email to their customer service department. When I stubbornly refused any of their choices, the recording informed me that they were experiencing  “ extremely high call volumes”, thus the wait to speak to a human being was in excess of an hour. However, I could opt to have them call me when a representative was available. I chose that one.

In a short 30 minutes, my landline phone rang. How foolish I was, thinking a human being would be on the other end. No, it was another recording, informing me that I was now “in queue”, but to understand that the wait could be considerable. In the meantime, I was given the choice of music to listen to while waiting. I chose #4, and I was again told that I was “in queue” . Nothing happened. No music. No message. Nothing. 5 minutes later, I hung up.

After another half an hour of deep breathing exercises to calm myself, and self-discussion that there were worse occurrences in the world than being unable to talk to a human service representative, such as a worldwide pandemic, I tried again. Same message. Same wait time. I again opted to receive a callback. Another half-hour went by, and my phone rang. This time, my choice of #4 music kicked in, and then……………….a human answered. It was a human with an accent I could not understand, but a human nonetheless. When I explained my problem, he mumbled, barely intelligible,  the gist of which was that my issue stumped him, was above his pay grade, and he would pawn me off, er, connect me with another department that could help. No music, but more wait time. Another human being I could barely understand came on the line.

He remotely connected to my cell phone, and told me to look for this, press this, press this, and press that. I obeyed. Nothing happened. You need to download an APP, he said. AAARRGGHH was my response, but I dutifully found the App Store and downloaded it.

He guided me through the “clicks”, and then…………………a screen came up on my cell phone that said I needed to call the App’s customer service and retrieve a code. With the appearance of that screen, the Samsung human connection on my landline disappeared. Gone. Hello? Hello? Hello? Nothing. I gave it my best shot and dialed the App’s customer service number on the screen, using my cell phone. “We are experiencing high call volume, but if you would like us to call you back………………” I HUNG UP.

So dear readers, here I sit. No pictures transferred. No return phone calls. No human connections. It has belatedly occurred to me that my only option now is to abandon the computer when I need to transfer a picture to my blog text. I will write the text directly on my phone, where the pictures permanently reside and are easy to access. If anyone has any other ideas, I’m listening.