MERRY CHRISTMAS 2020 STYLE

The truth is that I had quite a discussion with myself over the writing of this Christmas Blog. Do I keep it whimsical? How do I justify humor in the face of the hardships and devastation that are all around us? Do I go for the serious as I did with the Thanksgiving Blog? Although not Christian myself, I do understand the significance of Christmas to all those who celebrate it. Behind the lights, decorations, gifts, sappy movies, and magic of Santa Claus, there is a much deeper meaning, and I respect that.

However, in the end, because everyone has been through so much difficulty and heartache this year, including my own family that has had 8 members infected with Covid ( thankfully all are recovering), I decided to go with the whimsy for Christmas and save the serious for the New Year’s Blog. So I am filling your Christmas stockings with a gift of a few little chuckles that will hopefully put a smile on your pandemic and politically weary faces.

My good wishes for you this year include the hope that no one falls off of the roof putting up Christmas lights; that no one tears a rotator cuff hauling down the top box of heavy Christmas decorations; and that no one’s children learn new curse words while watching you put together “easily assembled” toys.

One reason to rejoice this season is that gift-giving 2020 style is far less costly than in previous years. Compare the price of the following much appreciated 2020 gifts with the jewelry, theater tickets, and vacation packages of years past:

A 12 pack of 2 ply toilet paper – I mean, seriously, did you ever dream of someone squealing in delight when they opened a gift of toilet paper????

A two-dozen pack of purse-size hand sanitizers – in a variety of fragrances

A 12-pack of Clorox sanitizing wipes

Cloth and fabric face masks available in a variety of colors and designs

A 100-count box of vinyl gloves

Garishly designed pajamas and fuzzy slippers – Yes, this is the year that pajamas will actually be an appreciated gift.

I, like millions of others, miss my family terribly and yearn to give and receive warm embraces and kisses, but in the spirit of humor, let’s look at this from a different perspective. In any other year, once the gifts are opened, there’s the Christmas meal and all day socialization to look forward to with relatives you are glad you only see once a year. Not to fret. A Zoom Christmas means:

You don’t have to pretend to like Aunt Mary’s creamed Brussel sprouts.

If you’re a child, you don’t have to put up with the ever-dreaded cheek pinching.

You will not be doing 20 extra loads of laundry generated by overnight guests who seem to use one towel per limb.

The following can be “clicked off” at any time by the host:

Uncle Buddy’s less than sober antics

Three different temper tantrums by three different children of varying ages

Aunt Mabel’s political rants

And best of all……………..No sharing…….You get ALL of your favorite left-over dessert.

Merry 2020 Christmas Everyone………….and think about this for a minute…………..If we had to experience a worldwide pandemic of a deadly disease, at least we are doing so in the 21^st century that affords us the luxury of technology to keep in touch with loved ones. How much worse it would be without instant communication via cell phone calls and texting; without FaceTime, Skype, and Zoom. Let’s be grateful for the positive in all of this mess.