November 13, 2020

PANDEMIC THANKSGIVING TRAVEL

NOTE****** I take this pandemic and everyone’s safety VERY seriously. This blog is not meant to diminish the dire situation we are currently experiencing. However, a little humor in the worst of circumstances goes a long way to relieve stress, so I hope you can enjoy reading a bit of tongue-in-cheek comic respite. “We’ll spray you down with Lysol in the garage when you get here from the airport. Then take your clothes off, and we’ll put them into the washing machine. I’ll give you a robe, and you can go upstairs to shower”, I read from my sister’s email […]
November 6, 2020

DATING SITE UPDATE

Are you waiting to read that I found love on the dating site I told you about in the October 8 blog, Online Dating – Avoiding a Serial Killer, https://talktimewithjoan.com/2020/10/08/online-dating-avoiding-a-serial-killer/ ? If not long-lasting love, that I at least had a variety of “virtual dates” with interesting, funny, intelligent conversationalists? If not “dates”, that I was at least contacted by a few seemingly nice, normal men for possible interest? The list of probable encounters is narrowing as you read. All right, then, do you think that someone, anyone with a pulse, at least checked my profile? At last, we have […]
October 30, 2020

THE WALKING QUEEN

Step. Puff. Step. Puff. Step. Puff. This is how my walking started. Having survived life-threatening blood clots in my lungs, multiple hospital stays, complications, and infections, as well as the ongoing issue of collapsing spinal discs that left me in excruciating pain in the 7 months prior to this, I was lucky that I was on my feet, never mind walking. The pulmonologist said that it was imperative that I WALK in order to prevent a re-occurrence of the blood clots that almost killed me. Well, if that dire warning wasn’t enough to get me out the door walking, I […]
October 23, 2020

THE OLD LADY AND THE FLAT TIRE

It’s never a good thing when the “low tire” icon lights up on your car’s dashboard. However, anyone with a working brain would get out of the car and inspect the tires to see where the problem was. I will refrain from editorial comment on my brain and would appreciate it if you would also, but I remained in the car and mulled over my options. I was in a friend’s driveway, having just finished an afternoon of Mah Jong with my Bubble Buddies. I was tired, hungry, and only 3 miles from home. It had been my experience with […]
October 16, 2020

DOGS = LOVE

Listen up, all of you scientists out there who took 150 years to begrudgingly admit that dogs have distinct personalities and are capable of feeling and expressing emotions the way humans do. (https://thedoctorweighsin.com/dog-personality/) Let me tell you about the quirky personalities and loving natures of the dogs who have blessed me with their presence in my life. Since neither my husband nor I were allowed to have a dog growing up, because both of our mothers had chanted the same mantra –“ If we get a dog, I’ll be the one who has to take care of it”, we welcomed […]
October 8, 2020

ONLINE DATING – AVOIDING A SERIAL KILLER

                                                Should I or shouldn’t I? Is this the time to give online dating another shot? Yes, I did venture into it a couple of years ago with, shall we say, less than stellar results, and I did not even get as far as the dating part. As a widow who was blessed to have experienced a long, loving marriage with the best the male species had to offer, I was not looking for a serious long-term relationship. I was looking for companionship and fun. Someone with whom to enjoy a concert, a play, dinner, great conversation, and hearty […]
October 3, 2020

Pre-Surgery Education Class – The Fattest One in the Room

One of the requirements for being approved for bariatric surgery is that candidates attend a series of Pre-Surgery Education Classes, in which we examine our reasons for undergoing the surgery; learn the anatomical aspects of the surgery; learn the physical ramifications of the surgery, and learn how we are going to have to eat for the rest of our lives. I do not know how anyone could go through the surgery and be successful afterward without attending all these classes. They are invaluable. As I mentioned in the Introduction, my perspective on my actual size was apparently way off. I […]
September 30, 2020

Born With Faulty Directional Brain Cells

“We’re lost, huh, Mommy,” came the tiny voice from the back seat of the car. My 3-year old, strapped safely into his car seat, happily munching on a snack of raisins, was wise beyond his years. He had heard me say, Uh, oh, as we were driving, and he had learned, in his short life, exactly what that meant…. we were lost. “No, no, we’re fine”, I lied. Of course, we weren’t fine. I was driving straight into Boston, a city, although a mere 20 miles from where we lived, I NEVER ventured into by car. At least not in […]
September 23, 2020

HOW MUCH DO EARRINGS WEIGH?

                                                                                               Whether it’s an appointment at the doctor’s office, your turn at the Weight Watcher scale, or your day in the privacy of your own home to get on that scale, you’re going to do everything in your power to make sure that the numbers that show up are as low as possible. You’ve taken your diuretic and have peed 8 times in the last 5 hours. If you are at the doctor’s office or weight loss group, you’ve taken off every stitch of clothing possible that won’t get you arrested for indecent exposure. You are left wearing lightweight shorts, […]